to be content or to not be content

These past couple days I've been wrestling with the inequailty of my life and that of the Hondurans. First because of what I saw while I was down there. Second because I have a good friend down there who's family is going through a lot of uncertainty with their future. And when I say wrestling... I mean really wrestling. It's tearing me up how life can be so unfair. It bothers me greatly that our yards are better hydrated than some people and our pets are better fed and nourished than some people.

It makes me feel unworthy of the life that I have here. Who am I that I get such a comfortable life simply because I was born here? I immediately think of the parable of the young, rich man in Matthew 19 when Jesus says, "Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." I didn't know this but... I am rich. Jesus obviously emphasizes that living in excess is not good. But then, how do you define living in excess? If I moved down to Honduras and embraced a life of having less, wouldn't I be one less person consuming more than I need in America? One less person taking something someone else could have?

Yesterday, I expressed all this and more to my roommate and she was able to offer me a different perspective. When I spoke of giving it all away and moving down to Honduras, she talked of Paul in Philippians 4:10-13 when he says he has had nothing and he has had plenty and he's been content in each situation. Just because we were born in America, does that mean we are less than the poor in Honduras? No. What astonishes me is the faith my Honduran friend has during this very difficult time. And when he hears me talk about this he says God put us each in our places, his life in Honduras, my life in America. Have faith in God that He is good. This to me illustrates the poor don't have daily bread, but they have God and eternal life through God. Lots of Americans have an abundance, but don't realize their need for God and the need to depend on Him. Who is worse off in this situation? Who's hearts should mine break for? Do I really believe that Jesus is the best thing that anyone could have?